So Today...

So today I was looking at some videos on YouTube posted by a woman named Glozell. She was very funny, but she got me to thinking. If she is comfortable enough with herself to be herself and have thousands of people watch her, why can't I be comfortable with a measly couple of people paying slight attention to me and the things I do. It made me think that maybe, just maybe people were not always thinking about, or looking at me. Maybe I AM the only so conscious about the things I do. If I look deep into myself and focus on other things besides MYSELF, maybe I won't be so paranoid. Also, once I outwardly show that I love and accept myself for who I am, then it will be easier for others to accept me.

I was also thinking about the true meaning of jealousy. For a long time I perceived it to mean someone hating you because of something you have that they don't. Now I believe that true jealousy is when someone loves an attribute of yours and wishes that they could have such an attribute as well. This person also wants your acceptance because they look up to you and find the things you do be something they enjoy. So, I have always had problems with girls in ALL my schools. I just didn't understand why they didn't like me. Then, when I came to the school that I currently attend, I realized that the girls were jealous of my beauty, intelligence, and maturity. At first I felt horrible because I wasn't purposefully trying to act a certain way, but as my fabulous Father told me, that is how I was BORN. So later I decided that I was going to accept myself for who I am and those who don't like it aren't meant to make any sort of importance in my life. I decided that I was going to love myself for me, flaws and all. Have a GREAT day!